Networking - A Love Hate Relationship

Let me be honest: I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with networking.

Okay, maybe hate is too strong a word. Let’s go with “anxious”. Especially considering that I’ve gotten better at it over time. The thought of walking into a room full of strangers always makes me nervous. Most of the time, I attend these events solo because I know I need to show up for myself and my business.

Before every event, my brain goes into overtime with thoughts like:

• Who will be there? 

• What if no one talks to me? 

• Remember that time when I stood there awkwardly, watching everyone else connect? 

These are just anxious thoughts - fear creeping in.

Sure, there have been moments when I stood alone, but no one was looking at me like I didn’t belong. We’re all there for the same reason—connection. Whether it’s for business, support, friendship, or something else, we all want to connect.

Then I remind myself: no one has ever rejected me for simply walking up and introducing myself or saying hello. That’s the whole point of these events! Conversations don’t always flow, and that’s okay. We move on. No harm done. And here’s the thing: I always leave having met a few people. Each event grows my network, even if it’s just by showing up.

Funny enough, the more people you know, the more credible you become. After a few events, you start recognizing faces, and suddenly, people start recognizing you too. So the comfort level gets better. Is this what they mean by “practice makes perfect”??

But I’ll admit—it takes time. Time away from my business, my son, and even time away from taking care of myself. Sometimes it feels like I could be spending this time more wisely, like investing in my friendships or self-care. And yet, I’ve learned something important…

I’ve learned to flip the perspective.

We all know that time is money, especially when it comes to business. The key is to spend your time wisely. Networking is time well spent—it’s an investment. 

I’ve learned to reframe networking: instead of thinking of it as time away from my business, I see it as part of my business. Making contacts, learning what others need, and sharing what I offer—it’s all invaluable. 

The more people who know about you, the better. Sure, not every networking event will lead directly to business. But here’s the truth: if you’re not memorable, you’re not available. When people remember you, they will bring you up when you aren’t in the room. And who doesn’t want referrals?!

So how do we network effectively? It starts with getting out there. You might kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince—or hey, maybe you’ll be the frog at times! But that’s okay. The key is to start, introduce yourself, and ask people about what they do.

Still nervous? Here are a few conversation starters to help break the ice:

1. What inspired you to start your business? How did you get in your career?
   People love sharing their journey, and this question allows them to open up in a way that’s both personal and professional.

2. What do you enjoy most about what you do?
   This invites them to talk about their passion, and you’ll often find common ground in shared enthusiasm.

3. Are there any upcoming events or projects you’re excited about?
   This helps the conversation look toward the future and provides opportunities to connect over mutual interests or events.

4. How do you typically like to connect with new people?
   It’s a great way to understand how they approach networking and opens the door for future interactions—whether through social media, email, or follow-up meetings.

Remember, the best conversations happen when you’re genuinely interested. You’re building relationships, not just contacts. So take a deep breath, walk in with confidence, and remember why you’re there. There’s nothing wrong with faking it until you make it!